In silence

I sit here every day from 8.30 to 5.00 n more, I can't take this anymore. I'm tired and frustrated with the life I choose..:( But the increment is I must say satisfying. However the satisfaction of the daily scary average is getting to me. I can't be put in that position every day. I'm too afraid and scared to be very careful at every step I take and every procedures and process that I incurred in my daily everyday life work. I'm not up to this kind of pressure and stress. I have no heart nor mentality to face this kind of situations every single day of my life. Yes I am complaining to the very core of this job. Yes, I do call it a job instead of a career. Yes, I chose this very path myself. Yes, I am the cause of this very situation that I am in. Yes the only thing I do is complain and never proceed to do anything about me. Yes I am at fault at all that I do in my life. I don't ever deny this 'yesses', bt I am just human. And all I can do is in silence and in this blog, because there's no one out there for me.

Life

Finally it hits me; REALITY. These harsh word finally gave me a shoved and got me tumbling down the huge moutain I was climbing. And now I find myself at the bottom of this moutain once again. Being at square one really sucks. All the hard work you did all these while, has disappeared in less than a second. Everything that was on the peak is yet again being a dream. Just a few seconds ago almost being in grabbing distance of you but one silly mistake and you found yourself falling down again.

But we human being always find ourselves being pushed down and only a few will reach to their destination. Unfortunately, I am not the lucky few.

The beginning of a new Friendship

This is a common saying before the start of any friendship. "It feels like the beginning of a beautiful new friendship". It is nice to form relationships and bonds with the people around us. But it is not easy to keep them. Not all friendship is able to float in the relationship, seven seas of life. Some have to be sacrifice or even left behind. And certainly, some will sink because of our lack of attention to it or by itself. No matter what we do, we do have to choose the ones we want to survive.

So the sentence "We choose who we want to be our friends" is true. We select the certain 'lucky' ones to be a part of our life and relationships. All the people we know are "Acquaintances", more likely. Those we know their name through the small talk we had with them. And basic, the one you smile (without teeth) to them. A simple gesture of acknowledgement when passing them by. But this are friends that you occasionally have to be friends with due to difference situation you were in then.

While life moves on, we bring certain ships further into the seas and they became our "hanging out" ships. The one you are generally are more inclined to have more than one conversation with them. Which lead them to becoming your everyday friend. These are people you get to know and met often. These are friends which are from either collegues, schoolmates or people you know on facebook. They are called "Generally Friends".

Then the few lucky ones get to be upgraded to "Close Friends" ships. And this friends entice you to have a deep conversation with, over a cup of coffee. With these friends you allow yourself to be slightly opened with. This group of friends, are people you "hang-out" with and always have fun and laughter with. However, you don't really share everything with them. You choose which close friend you are more closer to and that person will then be told more informations/ secrets.

I think you know which ships they become when we upgrade them a little more and love them a whole more. And only two to three friends that falls into this category of "Best Friends", also known as BFF. This stage of friends only will appear when you have pass all three of the stages of earlier friendship and have pass a certain amount of years known, depending on the comfortability level and amount of effort you put in with them. Usually this upgrading only happens during your teenager age. You should know why you put this 2 to 3 person specially into this category. Only you have the reason why.

But remember, where ever you put your friends on this level of friendship, they have an equal right to put you on theirs. And try to make the effort for every individuals. I say TRY.