Life

Finally it hits me; REALITY. These harsh word finally gave me a shoved and got me tumbling down the huge moutain I was climbing. And now I find myself at the bottom of this moutain once again. Being at square one really sucks. All the hard work you did all these while, has disappeared in less than a second. Everything that was on the peak is yet again being a dream. Just a few seconds ago almost being in grabbing distance of you but one silly mistake and you found yourself falling down again.

But we human being always find ourselves being pushed down and only a few will reach to their destination. Unfortunately, I am not the lucky few.

The beginning of a new Friendship

This is a common saying before the start of any friendship. "It feels like the beginning of a beautiful new friendship". It is nice to form relationships and bonds with the people around us. But it is not easy to keep them. Not all friendship is able to float in the relationship, seven seas of life. Some have to be sacrifice or even left behind. And certainly, some will sink because of our lack of attention to it or by itself. No matter what we do, we do have to choose the ones we want to survive.

So the sentence "We choose who we want to be our friends" is true. We select the certain 'lucky' ones to be a part of our life and relationships. All the people we know are "Acquaintances", more likely. Those we know their name through the small talk we had with them. And basic, the one you smile (without teeth) to them. A simple gesture of acknowledgement when passing them by. But this are friends that you occasionally have to be friends with due to difference situation you were in then.

While life moves on, we bring certain ships further into the seas and they became our "hanging out" ships. The one you are generally are more inclined to have more than one conversation with them. Which lead them to becoming your everyday friend. These are people you get to know and met often. These are friends which are from either collegues, schoolmates or people you know on facebook. They are called "Generally Friends".

Then the few lucky ones get to be upgraded to "Close Friends" ships. And this friends entice you to have a deep conversation with, over a cup of coffee. With these friends you allow yourself to be slightly opened with. This group of friends, are people you "hang-out" with and always have fun and laughter with. However, you don't really share everything with them. You choose which close friend you are more closer to and that person will then be told more informations/ secrets.

I think you know which ships they become when we upgrade them a little more and love them a whole more. And only two to three friends that falls into this category of "Best Friends", also known as BFF. This stage of friends only will appear when you have pass all three of the stages of earlier friendship and have pass a certain amount of years known, depending on the comfortability level and amount of effort you put in with them. Usually this upgrading only happens during your teenager age. You should know why you put this 2 to 3 person specially into this category. Only you have the reason why.

But remember, where ever you put your friends on this level of friendship, they have an equal right to put you on theirs. And try to make the effort for every individuals. I say TRY.

A new topic...soon

So in the last few post, I talk mostly about My Thoughts and Feelings on the word Love. Before, After, During, Wanting and Regretting. So this next few posts will be more on Friendship.

Please do comment if you have any opinions and your own views. I am sorry that I do not put up a tagboard for you to leave me a message. So the only way, is through comment on each post.

I hope you had an interesting thoughts and feelings after reading my views.

Thank you.

If Only..

The main phrase for this post is "If Only...".

When I say this phrase, one word came to mind, "REGRET(s)". That phrase will only result in one thing, being regretful of what you have done and wishing you could go back in time and change everything. If you knew what would happen in the future, then you would never have the problem of worrying what could happen, the consequences of your actions. Doubting every move you make and hoping that nothing bad or worst situations that could happen may not exist. But it does and you cannot do anything about it. It is done and can never be change or re written. Life moves on and you too. You will keep telling yourself, "If only you did that, If only you did this, If only you knew what you knew now..."

But not knowing is one of the mysteries in life. Sometimes not knowing is better. But there is moment where I second guess everything. If everything was pre-planned, what we did could never be changed, choices that we made is pre-planned and it is not our choice in the first place. It was already known what choice we made and it had play it out by it self as it should. Then isn't it not our fault? We are already planned to do what we did and why do we still suffer for it?

The Beginning

The beginning of any relationship is never easy. You can be in one, in one day and not in another. No one really knows how long a relationship can lasts. It all depends on the couple itself. How they live it and how they go through problems, be it small or big. The beginning of the relationship, will test the relationship in many ways.

Testing is part and parcel of having a relationship. It all depends on how you, as an individuals and, as a couple handles the tests. Tests comes in many form. Can be your first fight, first jealousy rage, first compromises and so on. The way you settle the arguments is crucial if you are only beginning the relationship. So if it gets shaky in the first few months, becareful but don't back out so easily. Work it out. See it through. But if its a danger zone, back out slowly and try not to hurt the other party, because a heartbreak is really difficult to go through, especially if you on the receiving end.

Tests are not the only thing that relationships have to endure. One other important thing is, "Chemistry". How you feel about the other party, do you have the connections or what they called it, "Sparks"? Do you feel comfortable around that person? Do that person make you laugh and smile alot, or does she or he makes you cry? You can never go wrong with you instinct about this chemistry. Usually, it always comes on the first date. Becareful, some relationships need time and patience. Do give in and try it out. But don't let it slip by always, and don't say, "It's okay. We just need time to adjust", it is always a bad sign.

So testing and chemistry always are the crucial pointers in the beginning of a relationship. Remember "Patience is virtue."

When a relationship ends...

The ending of a relationship causes the bonds and ties, memories and feelings to break into million little pieces. It is never easy nor difficult. When love dies, you feel like dying and feel that you can never love again. Especially if you are the one being "DUMP". Feeling of being dump is hardest to get over; even though the break-up is for a good reason or not. The feeling is still there. Pain comes eventually, not in physical but emotionally and mentally. You will try to cry out the feeling and everyone around you will keep telling you one advise only; "Everything is going to be alright". But deep inside it's never going to be.

Hurts like hell. More than that even. But have anyone exprience hell to tell the tale of it. So you don't really know.

But don't give up. The hurt will not disappear but you will soon forget about if you just accept the fact and move on. A close friend of mine said this advise to herself when she exprience her hardest break-up; "Slow but surely". So take all the time you want, you have a lifetime to heal yourself and find the next person, who could or not be the one you spend your life with. But keep looking. Love is all around and looking is easy but finding is never.

To love is better than not to...

What wrong with this sentence? From one read, it seems fine. Deconstructing each meaning of the sentence, we realized that is it the TRUTH. To have love someone, is better to never love at all. Loving is never easy and to love, it is a miracle. And to have that someone love you back, is heavenly.

To never having expriencing love at all, is a waste of life. You know they always say try to do everything ONCE. Love is included in that "Everything". Because love is more that a life time exprience, once you feel love, you want more. Crave more. Never to love, is like never to have dessert after dinner. That nice feeling after a big meal and still a little hungary to wash all it down with a sweetness feeling. That's the feeling of love. Wanting more of that dessert even you are feeling full. Your heart is still hungary.

Maybe I am talking nonsence, but love is anything and everything to anyone and everyone. Do you know what I mean?

Wishing I had one..

Don't you just love it when the person you love the most, wakes you up doing something special? It will be nice for someone just to give me a wake up call and sing a love song to me so that my day begins with a smile. It just make my day a whole lot better. This is one of the moment when I am wishing that I had that one; special someone. But then again having that certain someone, I can't expect him to be doing what I want, because he can't read my mind. But if I were to be a guy or man, I think I won't be doing it either. However, if I had saw that scene somewhere, then maybe I will be motivated to do something so sweet as that.

So it is quite difficult to be a guy and being expected to do something out of the usual. I don't take side in the gender issue, cause I know being either gender, there will always come a set of expectation that maybe the other party is hoping to have or get, but we can't or don't know about it, thus not doing it. This expectation is hard to acknowledge and realize because we human are not mind reader.

But to be fair, if you are a part of a relationship, please do understand that being in a relationship takes a lot of courage and initiative to keep the relationship moving and stable all the time. Understanding each other, trusting and even letting go is part and parcel of the core of the relationship. Take your time to get to know your respective partners. Don't rush into something that is unsure or unstable. Be yourself and then when you are ready, be encourage to do something different once a while and surprise your special someone. Make he or she feel the love and care, specially from You to Them. Love them with a heart full of promises, even if you can't keep most of them.

LOVE

Love.

Wat does 'IT' means? Is saying as simple as "I'm in love" defines that you are loving someone? Sometimes saying it out loud, too many times just defeats the purpose totally. You just say it out because you are used to saying it. It doesn't mean anything and it never had been. I am certainly not an expert in love relationships but I know enough that saying "I LOVE YOU" doesn't change anything. It is your overall attitude towards the relationship. It is the feeling of "you can't see yourself being with anyone else except that particular someone", then you have fallen in love. But it is not so simple. Loving someone needs a lot of patience and heart, as well as feelings will always be in doubt. However, once that feeling is stable, you will always have that certain amount of increasing caring, respect and affection for that person. Once you found that, you are for certain on the base and core of LOVE.

NEW YEAR!!

So before I say anything, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!"

So let me started, I have once again set this entry to post at 12am sharp. So this post is the first post of the year, 2010. I seriously can't believe that I am saying 2010 finally. And finally I am going to leave my teenage year and enter the young adult. So before I turned that I have to changed my self. I don't know what to change but I will learn. However throughout 2009, I have learnt that I have to be more matured, different and still be me. How can I really do that?

Anyway below I am listing what everyone is for sure listing in their blog, they new year resolution. I couldn't find what my 2009 resolution was but am I going to forget that as it has already left. Let's started with the new.

1. Get bike lisence
2. Lose weight at the belly
3. Find a path in life, which leads to "Finding a well-deserved/ interesting job"
4. Earn enough to buy bike(1st)/laptop(2nd)
5. Get over him officially and no more thoughts-which then leads to love destination

That is the top 5 of resolution I want to complete and hoping it's not that difficult to achieve. Maybe it's not reseasonable but I am hoping, wishing, praying that everything is going to be not perfect or goes as planned, but atleast everything is going to be okay. :)