If Only..

The main phrase for this post is "If Only...".

When I say this phrase, one word came to mind, "REGRET(s)". That phrase will only result in one thing, being regretful of what you have done and wishing you could go back in time and change everything. If you knew what would happen in the future, then you would never have the problem of worrying what could happen, the consequences of your actions. Doubting every move you make and hoping that nothing bad or worst situations that could happen may not exist. But it does and you cannot do anything about it. It is done and can never be change or re written. Life moves on and you too. You will keep telling yourself, "If only you did that, If only you did this, If only you knew what you knew now..."

But not knowing is one of the mysteries in life. Sometimes not knowing is better. But there is moment where I second guess everything. If everything was pre-planned, what we did could never be changed, choices that we made is pre-planned and it is not our choice in the first place. It was already known what choice we made and it had play it out by it self as it should. Then isn't it not our fault? We are already planned to do what we did and why do we still suffer for it?

The Beginning

The beginning of any relationship is never easy. You can be in one, in one day and not in another. No one really knows how long a relationship can lasts. It all depends on the couple itself. How they live it and how they go through problems, be it small or big. The beginning of the relationship, will test the relationship in many ways.

Testing is part and parcel of having a relationship. It all depends on how you, as an individuals and, as a couple handles the tests. Tests comes in many form. Can be your first fight, first jealousy rage, first compromises and so on. The way you settle the arguments is crucial if you are only beginning the relationship. So if it gets shaky in the first few months, becareful but don't back out so easily. Work it out. See it through. But if its a danger zone, back out slowly and try not to hurt the other party, because a heartbreak is really difficult to go through, especially if you on the receiving end.

Tests are not the only thing that relationships have to endure. One other important thing is, "Chemistry". How you feel about the other party, do you have the connections or what they called it, "Sparks"? Do you feel comfortable around that person? Do that person make you laugh and smile alot, or does she or he makes you cry? You can never go wrong with you instinct about this chemistry. Usually, it always comes on the first date. Becareful, some relationships need time and patience. Do give in and try it out. But don't let it slip by always, and don't say, "It's okay. We just need time to adjust", it is always a bad sign.

So testing and chemistry always are the crucial pointers in the beginning of a relationship. Remember "Patience is virtue."

When a relationship ends...

The ending of a relationship causes the bonds and ties, memories and feelings to break into million little pieces. It is never easy nor difficult. When love dies, you feel like dying and feel that you can never love again. Especially if you are the one being "DUMP". Feeling of being dump is hardest to get over; even though the break-up is for a good reason or not. The feeling is still there. Pain comes eventually, not in physical but emotionally and mentally. You will try to cry out the feeling and everyone around you will keep telling you one advise only; "Everything is going to be alright". But deep inside it's never going to be.

Hurts like hell. More than that even. But have anyone exprience hell to tell the tale of it. So you don't really know.

But don't give up. The hurt will not disappear but you will soon forget about if you just accept the fact and move on. A close friend of mine said this advise to herself when she exprience her hardest break-up; "Slow but surely". So take all the time you want, you have a lifetime to heal yourself and find the next person, who could or not be the one you spend your life with. But keep looking. Love is all around and looking is easy but finding is never.